My Last Day As A-Team Leader

Foreword: Forgive me if I over-dramatize this entry. I feel like yesterday was a big day, the end of a season in my life, and I want to express that. But I figure I’m going to come across sounding epic or sappy, so I apologize in advance.

I have been a student at Florida State University for two and one-half years. I have been on the Navigators’ Activities Team for two of those years and led it for one. Anyone who has been on it knows that it becomes a big part of your life. Anyone who has led it knows that, to an extent, it comes your life. The first year when I was in charge of logistics I thought of myself as little more than a cog in the system and somewhat expendable. This past year I have often been refered to as the Tyrant or the Evil Dictator, but regardless I felt important and valued. I’ve been trying to remember what it felt like to not be apart of this team. Even in those brief months of my first semester in college when I wasn’t a member I was being recuited, so the impact of the team was being felt even then. I feel like I can confidently say that there hasn’t been a day since I got here that the A-Team hasn’t been on my mind.

Yesterday was the last A-Team meeting for my team. It was the second of two sit-in meeting where the new team and the current team met together. I quickly went over the final few things that my team needed to get squared away, then the rest of the meeting belonged to my successor, Ross Kozloski. I sat and watched. I spoke maybe half a dozen times throughout the meeting. And as I watched the creative process take place between a newly united group of individuals for the first time an incredibly strong realization hit me.

It’s really over.

And I really thought I was going to be happy about that too, but I wasn’t. And at this point I think I need to clarify something in an area where I know I have been misleading. There was never a point these past two years when I wanted to quit or give up. However, there were days when this job became very frustrating. Recently I would verbalized that I was happy my time on the team was almost up, but in reality this was a poor way of expressing my frustrations towards the university and the red tape that so easily entangles. The truth of the matter is that I loved being apart of this. I loved having a say in what went on.

But now all I could do was listen.

I listened to Ross introduce himself, and as he did he pointed out more than once that he was unsure of his leadership abilities. I found this ironic because it brought back the memory of me doing the very same thing when I took over. Today, if anything, I’m probably over-confident in my abilities. I listened to Dave cast a strong vision about the purpose and the commitment of the A-Team. I remembered that that was one weapon that I didn’t have in my arsenal because when I took over he was still on subatical. I listened to my team; they seemed so happy to be passing the baton on to a new team. I listened to the newcomers asking the same familiar questions that I was asking two years ago and that I was answering one year ago. I listened to plans being hatched for a Christmas party that was just taking shape. I tried to take it all in, to live in the moment, the last of its kind.

The meeting ended unceremoniously. That’s not to say I was expecting an ovation or any words of affirmation. I know those will be coming in droves in the coming weeks. I guess it just felt strange because we all left as though it was just like any other meeting. The “see you next week” attitude was still present, but the “never again” feeling was hovering over that like an ominous cloud. It took me a while to synthesize those two ideas into “this will continue.”

I am supremely confident in the new A-Team. The people who have already committed and the ones who are still on the fence are all people who love Jesus and who want to take ownership of the Navigators’ operations, to make the ministry better, and to have fun doing it. Ross has a lot of talented people surrounding him, and what I’ve found is that that is the key to being successful. When he gets stuck he will have the benefit of being able to consult Dave or any of four previous A-Team leaders still here in Tallahassee, one of whom is his brother. So you see, it’s in his blood. I am leaving the team in capable and trustworthy hands.

Finally I want to address my team. I think Ross hit the nail on the head yesterday when he read out of Luke 16: ‘Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.’ Every person on my team, Brandon, Jonathan, James, Catherine, and Natasha, have been faithful to the responsibility in which they have been entrusted. I think of Matthew 25, the parable of the talents, when the master says to the first two men: ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ That’s what Jesus is saying to each of you. I’m saying thank you. Thank you for working with me, putting up with me, and doing the Lord’s work with me. I have been blessed to have had the privilege to work with you.

It’s really over. It’s true, this season in my life has come to an end. But I take comfort in the promises of God, that He’ll put me in charge of many things and that He’ll never leave or foresake me. I leave grateful and blessed by the experience. And yes, I’ve had fun. Now I’m excited to see what’s next.