My EDGE Decision & My Birthday

Quote of the Day #1: “Right, it’d be about getting it on.” — Nicole Kelley, professor of Christianity in Antiquity, on what Song of Solomon would be about if there weren’t an allegorical interpretation

Quote of the Day #2: “You perform the same miracle over and over in our lives and still we doubt.” — James Barr, while praying at the prayer retreat, observing our inability to trust in God’s provision and sovereignty

The last couple of weeks have been full of big decisions and important lessons. I’m going to backtrack to March 31 when I went on the Nav prayer retreat. We were supposed to be joined by Vic Black but there was a scheduling snafu that kept him from coming. There were about 30 of us who decided to spend the weekend in prayer. This was only the second prayer retreat I’d ever been on and the first since my freshman year. Saturday morning we spent the first few hours thanking God for what He’d brought us out of (i.e. prior to being saved). In the afternoon we concentrated on resting in God, finding peace in His will. It was during this time that I had a revelation.

As you may know I had been accepted to EDGE Corps about a week prior to this trip. I honestly didn’t know if EDGE was what God wanted me to do, but I had a feeling that He would make things clear during the prayer retreat. On Saturday afternoon we were given some time alone. During that time I went over the things I had written down during the morning. One thing was what James had said earlier that morning (second quote of the day) and I asked God if there was any place in my life that I didn’t trust Him where He’d been faithful in the past. No sooner had I asked the question was I given an answer: community. I didn’t trust God to provide me with a community after I graduated. Remember, I was something of a misfit in high school; unpopular would be putting it mildly. It really wasn’t until my last semester at RHAM that I made any real friends. It was no coincidence that it was that semester that I started to read the Bible again and attend Eric Stillman’s youth group. Then, within days of my arrival at FSU, I meet the Navigators. My parents left on Sunday of freshman week. Two days later I had a community. God was faithful. But even though so much has changed since then I still remember what it was like to be completely alone, how utterly hopeless that felt. I was willing to do anything to make sure that I wouldn’t be left without people. Those of you who know me well are probably smiling at this because you know that I’m not that social a person. But the truth is it’s still very important to me, even if I tire of socializing easily.

I realized that my biggest motive for entering into EDGE Corps was that I would be guaranteed to be in community with others. If I ended up back at FSU I would be with my same old crew, but even at another school I would be “that new EDGE guy” and people would want to get to know me. There was never a question in my mind that I would raise the funds necessary, even though this was a major concern for my parents. The fact is regardless of what I do next I want to grow in relationship with Christ, and I have found that the only way to do that is to trust Him greater than you did in the past. For me that is going to be trusting that I will be placed around other believers that not only share a common vision but also accept me into their group. So yes, last Friday I turned down EDGE Corps. When it actually came time to make the decision it was easy, but the process as a whole was not by any means.

Back to the prayer retreat. Saturday night we shared the eucharist. I found this to be particularly moving. It’s rare that a church will actually spend a significant amount of time concentrating on what it actually means when you eat the bread and drink the juice. Usually you’re up and back so fast you hardly have time to chew. But we spent a few hours praying and singing songs about the passion, then about the resurrection, all the while going to the makeshift alter for communion when we were each ready to do so. At church they always say, “Do this in remembrance of me.” How often to we actually take time to remember? We didn’t just remember, we celebrated the occasion. It was the highlight of the weekend.

Later that night we got Dave Wirgau singing and playing the guitar. And I’m not taking praise songs. He sang a moving rendition of “King of the Road.” He also sang the song that he sang to Martha at his wedding, which really was moving. And he capped it off by playing something with James as he wailed on his harmonica. It was a fun way to end the day. The next morning we went over some of the things we had learned, then left for home.

I wrote a quick post last Monday to describe my views on birthdays. Now I’ll let you know what actually happened that day. That night the Kellum crew ordered a couple of big Momo’s pizzas and threw a party for me. It wasn’t fancy, just the way I like it. Quite a few people from off campus dropped by. I was given a man balloon from the Lighthouse girls (adorned with a hunter, hiking boots, guns, and assorted wild game) which is still floating above my desk. After dinner a few more of us than usual went up to my room to watch the new episode of 24. It had been weeks since I’d been able to watch it as it aired, but lucky for me this was the first Monday since the last night of worship so there wasn’t any band practice to go to. After the show we watched a little of the national championship game between Florida and UCLA, but as we were doing that Curtis came to me and told me it was time.

I had completely forgotten about the threat of being thrown in the fountain. I decided to go peacefully, since that would take all the fun out of it for everyone else. I drove over the Westcott with James and Curtis, which is where we hatched a plan. You see, April 7 was Josh Kelley’s birthday, who was one of the people who was going to throw me into the fountain. Josh is a pretty big guy, so we figured that this was as close we would be able to get him to the fountain before his guard got too high for us to make a legitimate attempt. Curtis was going to be the other guy throwing me in (think: one guy holding my arms, one guy holding my legs, give me the old heave hoe). As soon as they let go of me James would rush in and push Josh into the fountain. It was brilliant. Only one problem: Josh had a cell phone. Many a phone has been ruined when pushing innocent bystanders into the fountain. So Curtis thought that if he pulled his things out of his pockets in front of Josh before they picked me up that maybe Josh would do the same, not really thinking about the implications of his actions. And sure enough, that’s exactly what happened. I gave James a knowing look as Curtis and Josh picked me up. They counted off. 1… 2… 3… splash #1, splash #2. The plan worked without a hitch. Josh was none too pleased, especially when I told him I was in on it. That earned me a second toss. But it was worth it. I feel as though my being thrown in was worth it this time around.

The rest of the week was pretty run-of-the-mill. We did get new the new FSU Nav t-shirts on Thursday. They’re nice, a lot more plain than the past two years but that’s what everyone has been asking for. We’re all supposed to wear them tonight, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Saturday I made a trip to Gainesville to hear Jerry Bridges speak. This is the same Jerry Bridges who led my Bible study this summer at NCP. It was really cool to see him again, though he didn’t remember me. I’m sure it didn’t help that I cut off all my hair since then, but then I really didn’t expect him to remember. He probably meets hundreds of people every year who he impacts but who only talk to him for a little while. The weekend was designed to encourage people to go on staff, and they made a strong push for EDGE Corps. Two girls from UF decided to take the plunge and they had them both speak. I’ll be honest, I was really jealous. I’ve been wrestling with the same things they have. We all heard a voice behind us saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” They turned left, I turned right. But the leadership was more concerned with pushing their agenda than talking about the process of wrestling with God. I’m not surprised, I’m just a little bitter. But at any rate, it was cool to see some friends from other campuses. This event was only open to juniors, seniors, and alumni so the crowd was a little more sparse than a lot of events in the past but there were still a number of familiar faces. It was good to see Heather and Kate from UF. I don’t know if or when I’ll be back in Gainesville again, so this might be the last time I see them. All in all it was a worthwhile trip, even though I seemed to concentrate the description on the negative side of things.

This week is Rez Week here at FSU. It’s a time when all the campus ministries cancel their usual weekly activities and all come together to pray and worship together as a united fellowship. This year it is back at it’s traditional time of year: Holy Week. This year’s theme is about getting rid of the idols in our lives. Sunday night Brent Kanyok gave a powerful message that didn’t pull any punches, imploring us to catch the vision of the week. Last night we had the leader of FCA speak on both the need and how to remove idols and replace them with the truth of Christ. Tonight Dave Wirgau will be speaking, hence the reason why all the Navs are supposed to wear their new shirts tonight. I haven’t made time to go into the Wesley bomb shelter (the nickname for their church and where Rez Week is being held) to spend time in prayer but I hope to as the week progresses. It’s sort of a hectic time, but I need to make this a priority.

I’m trying to think if I missed anything. That’s the problem with posting so sporadically. You always forget something important, or at least something that was important at the time. I’ll try to do better, but I make no promises.

Tweet This

Related posts

• My Recent Vacations (0)
• The Camp Special Renaming Project (0)
• Photos from Nav Beach Retreat (0)