Nav Staff - I’ve been hesitant to talk about this in my blog simply because I know I’m going to think of someone I wanted to tell in person (or at least on the phone or in an email) before they found out here. So if I forgot to mention this to you and you’re completely offended I apologize and would love to sit down and discuss the whole thing over a hot cup of tea. Sound fair?
I’ve decided to make a change in my life. Starting in August I will be joining the FSU Navigators staff team as a part-time staff member. This has not been an easy decision to make and I’d like to take you through the journey.
Since late last August I have been what they call the Data Entry Specialist for the SHINE program at the Florida Department of Elder Affairs. This job, when I first started working there, was such a huge blessing. I needed a job badly and would have taken anything, and for God to give me a government job that paid pretty well was more than I could have asked for. You have to remember that I majored in religion, so my prospects coming out of school were uncertain. I like the people I work with, especially my boss. I never felt all that challenged by the work itself, but it was always a challenge to represent God and His kingdom well in spite of the fact that the work wasn’t challenging or all that enjoyable. But lately I’ve felt like I would like to find something that was both more challenging and more fulfilling. But that’s not telling the whole story about the struggle that was going on within me.
The way I see it there are four things vying for my time that I can choose to give either more or less time to. Those things are my job, my ministry, my social life, and my writing. For the last eight months I’ve been working forty hours a week, ministering less than I would like but still ministering, maintaining a pretty solid social life and not writing nearly as much as I would like. That last one is really the key. I want to become a professional writer someday, but I doubt anyone would publish me right now. I need to get better, but to get better I need to write more. To write more I need more time, and to get more time I need to make a drastic change in my priorities. I don’t want to take time away from my ministry or my social life, so that extra time is going to have to come out of my job. But now I’m going to have to get paid either to hang out with my friends, to write or to do ministry. Well, if my friends would pay me to be friends with them I don’t think I’d have ever gotten any other kind of job. Like I said before, no one right now would publish me. So it’s going to have to be ministry. This is the logical side of my decision. But God doesn’t always choose what we think is the most logical decision. So what’s the other side of the story?
Early this year I spent over a month camped in Psalm 27. I felt like God was speaking directly to me through the words of the psalm. I was really feeling like giving up back in February and March. I didn’t want to go to work. I didn’t want to keep pouring out my life and not seeing any fruit in my ministry. I was sick of always having things that I needed to do and never having time for the things I wanted to do. I just wanted to throw in the towel. What was worse was that I was believing all sorts of lies, like I couldn’t do any better than where I was currently at in life and that the best days were essentially behind me. The reality of “the real world” was that we don’t all live out our dreams, that most of us will just have to settle. The truth, or rather the lie that I took as truth, was that I was likely to live out all my days as a meaningless person. God spoke straight into those lies. He heard my heart’s cry, that I wanted to matter and to do things that matter. While He spoke to me throughout the chapter, I felt like He gave me a word of hope in the last two verses of that psalm:
I am still confident in this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
“But why part-time ministry? How is that the solution? Didn’t you turn down a full-time ministry job with the Navigators just last year?” Yes, that’s true. The main reason I turned down full-time ministry work last spring was because my parents advised me not to not to take that path. Please do not misunderstand me. I am by no means bitter about that; if fact I’m glad they steered me in the direction they did. I have learned a lot this year as a working stiff that I would not otherwise have learned. I had a lot of growing up to do, and not just in a worldly way. Last year I wanted to advance my own kingdom. I wanted to go into ministry because I wanted to be “that guy.” You know, the guy who’s all spiritual and who everyone respects because he’s got a position and authority and stuff. It was all about me. But this year I really started to understand John 12:24. I really do have to die for anything to happen. And all that stuff about holding a position and being seen isn’t dying.
“But wait. You just made an argument for why not to go on staff.” Not true. I don’t need the position, but I do need availability. I need more time for people. Being in the workplace full-time is great for some people who can make their workplace their ministry but so far that just isn’t where God is leading me. Taking this part-time job with the Navs will allow me to double what I’m doing now with students. I’ll be doing something that really matters, that has eternal significance. The free time that I was using for my ministry I can now use to write more. I’ll have the time to develop a gift that I believe God wants me to use as my primary ministry one day. He’s leading me to a place of preparation. I think He has an awful lot to show me over the next fifteen months.
“So why part-time ministry and not full-time?” It’s very important to me to honor my parents. I know they are still hesitant about me going into full-time ministry. I think if I went to seminary and became a bona fide pastor they wouldn’t be so worried because I’d be able to get a salaried position in some ministry somewhere. But the positions I’m taking with the Navs - and the one I was looking at last year - I will need to raise support through fund raising. That’s right. Half of my income will be from the generosity of my family, friends and churches. Maybe even complete strangers. Scary, I know. But I believe God will provide. Also, I know they’re worried that a ministry job will not look as good on my resume if I choose to return to the workforce. My boss at the DOEA is going to try to create a part-time job for me because he doesn’t want to lose me. I think it will look pretty good for me to maintain the same employer for two years or more, don’t you?
One of the great things about joining the staff team is where I’ll be living next year. I’ll be in the Projectz with Kyle and Luke, living next door to Alyssa, Helen and Nicki. I’m really stoked. I’ve never lived in a real Nav house before. All of us will be on staff next year (I’m actually the only one not on the EDGE team), which I think is beyond perfect.
“So what’s the time line look like for the summer?” Well, I’m going to Colorado for fund raising training at the end of May for a week. When I get back I’m going to continue to work full time through July, though my hours will change a little so I can leave work each day at 4 PM and prepare to make fund raising phone calls and appointments. In August I’ll be dropping back to part-time at DOEA in whatever job they can find for me. Hopefully it will still be with SHINE, and I think there’s a pretty big chance that it will be, but it could also be somewhere else in the department.
I’d really appreciate your prayers. There’s just so much to pray for. I’m concerned about my relationships with family and friends and how they will change as a result of this decision. I’ll be honest: I’m a little apprehensive about fund raising. But I have confidence in God’s provision. He gave me so much to be able to move back to Tallahassee in the first place. I believe He will provide again. I’ll be sending out my support letters soon. If you would like to sign up to receive one you can do so by clicking here. Thanks for making it through this marathon post. I can get a little longwinded when I talk about this. I would love to answer any questions you have about what I’m doing so, please, ask away!
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