Looking Back, Looking Ahead

It’s been nearly a month since the fall semester ended and I’m still having a hard time believing just how fast those four months went by. Here we are in January, the day before the start of the spring 2008 semester, and I know it’ll be the end of April before I know it. But before I get too far ahead of myself I want to take time to reflect back on the previous semester. It was my first ever as a campus minister. Here’s a little bit of what I learned and some things I hope will be different this time around.

In my mind I’m dwelling on all the mistakes I made. You may recall that I just barely made it to campus in time for the start of classes. I reached my minimum funding goal the Sunday before classes started last semester. But this didn’t mean I raised everything “on time,” since I had missed the first two weeks of my job in order to reach my minimum funding goal. The first week was a staff planning meeting followed by time spent with the Student Leadership Team. The second week was Freshmen Week, when all the new students are first moving into the dorms. Because I missed those two weeks I felt like I was playing catchup with the rest of the staff team from day one.

This combination, reaching my funding goal right before classes started and feeling behind the rest of the staff, led to an unfortunate result. Without even realizing it I went to campus with a chip on my shoulder. I had something to prove. I was a campus minister and I belonged there just as much as those who’d raised their money on time. I was determined to meet people and to make something happen. Do you notice something about those thoughts? It’s all “I…, I…, I…” without any mention of God. I really didn’t care how God was moving on campus or how He wanted to use me. Not at first, anyway. My goal was simply to justify my presence, to convince everyone that my being there had purpose.

It took me weeks of frustration and very little impact in the lives of other people for me to notice this reality in my life and ministry. I remember one Wednesday night, I think it was near the end of September or the beginning of October, when a student I was going to meet up with had to cancel our plans. I spent that time at home praying instead. Maybe ten or so minutes in I realized it was the first time I had taken time away from “doing” to get away to pray all semester. Don’t misunderstand. I was still praying a little after reading the Bible in the morning, and I’d pray when other people initiated it, but this was really the first time I had decided it was worth my time to bring my burdens before God. It awakened me to just how mixed up my ministry had become. The greatest commandment is the love God, to put Him first in our lives, and the second is to love people. I had reversed to two. But really, if I’m not taking the time to love God as I should how well could I possibly be loving other people? Coming to this realization was a major turning point for me. I began to spend more time focused on God and less time concerned about how well my ministry was shaping up when compared to the ministry of others.

One other dynamic that has been a struggle all semester has been working two jobs. I still work part-time for the Department of Elder Affairs. Both of my bosses have been very accommodating of my situation, so I have no complaints there. But it’s a difficult life. I’m working the same job at the DOEA now that I was last year, only now I have 20 hours each week to get my work done instead of 40 hours. In fact, they’ve actually given me more responsibilities in the last month that I didn’t have to worry about before. And let’s face it. My job with the Navigators may be part-time on paper, but I don’t think I’ve worked a mere 20 hour week for them yet. So there’s a lot of work to be done and it never feels like there’s enough time to get it all done. Let me assure you: beginning next fall I will be doing something full-time. I don’t know what it’ll be, but I’ll only be working one job.

There were other things about the fall semester that were positive. I love being on this staff team. I feel like each of them wants to see me succeed and would do whatever they could if I needed help. I really haven’t experienced something like that in a work environment or ministry situation before. I have also really enjoyed watching the two students I’m mentoring make breakthroughs this semester. That was one major concern I had last year: I just didn’t have the availability I wanted in those relationships. They’re each entering their final semester as undergrads and I think the fact that I get to be around them more during this semester will be a big deal.

I also have enjoyed going on to campus to interact with students that don’t know Christ (or who aren’t walking with Him), especially when I’ve gone with one of my teammates. Don’t get me wrong, going by myself isn’t a bad thing either, but there’s something cool about sharing the experience with someone you’re laboring with daily. It’s also what I’m looking forward to the most this coming semester because I intend to start going on campus with one of the guys I’m mentoring. It’ll add a whole new dynamic to my ministry.

I feel extremely blessed to have had the opportunity to attend the National Staff Conference in St Louis. They only have them once every four years, so my timing couldn’t have been better. Something I’d been asking God for during the fall semester was for greater vision. Going to this conference and seeing how so many people are laboring with the Navigators in so many different ways gave me a very unique look at a greater vision. I got to meet people from all over the country. It was through a relationship that I made in Colorado but deepened at this conference that has resulted in our plan to take the FSU Navs to Chicago for spring break this year. I heard many great speakers, attended workshops on getting my writings published, and reconnected with old friends. And it all came at just the right time: about halfway through the semester when I think the whole staff team really needed a breather. I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.

I’ve learned a lot from the fall semester. I’ve learned the absolute necessity of putting my relationship with God first above all things, even my personal ministry. I’ve learned that taking the time to rest is extremely important. I’m so blessed to have Monday off from both of my jobs (the only day I have off from both of my jobs). Without that I think I’d go stir crazy. I’ve learned that I need to work smarter and not harder. An example of that is my plan to combine my time with that student I’m mentoring and my time on campus. I only have a certain number of available hours. At some point things will either have to be combined or they’ll have to be dropped.

This spring semester is going to be exciting! This month we will welcome Jim Downing, “the oldest living Navigators” as he was referred as at the National Staff Conference (he’s 94 years old). He’ll be here for about a week, speaking at Nav Night and getting personal time with our students. (Although word has just come in that his only surviving brother is very ill and may only have days to live. Additionally, his wife Morena has become ill. Either of these could postpone or cancel his trip. Let’s pray for his wife and brother.) In February we’re having our regional conference with guest speaker Drew Frazer. March we’re headed to Chicago for spring break and April we’ll be having a prayer retreat led by Vic Black. All told this should be an incredible semester that will be here and gone before you know it.

I know a lot of my readers have been praying for me this past semester. Thank you for your prayers; they mean so much to me. I look forward to sharing the victories and setbacks that will come my way with you during this upcoming spring semester.